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"So, how do we handle this?" (Bad Lines: Part Two)

October 23, 2008



You might think this is a hard one to top, but a gentleman I passed on Bay Street gave it the old college try and came up with one much, much worse.

“Sweetheart, I would happily die right now, if it means you’ll stay this beautiful forever!”

I’m sure he meant well, but really, he just left us in an awkward spot. So, you want to trade your life for my eternal beauty. Deal.

Now what?

Do I kill you right there in the street?

I looked good that morning–swishy skirt, cute heels, kneesocks, nice scarf knotted prettily at my throat. A bit of lingering summer tan, soon after hair-cut day so no split ends or weird leggy tufts. Jaunty handbag. No lady wants to mess all that up if offing a stranger turns sloppy.

And, what if I get caught and prison turns me ugly after all?

Or, will you make your own arrangements? When? I’m probably not getting prettier, so what if you wait a month or two and by then everything has changed? What if it’s too late and I am already 5% less lovely?

Such a complicated compliment…more trouble than it’s worth.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. looka permalink
    October 27, 2008 10:07 am

    Hm, he was all talk then.
    The real hopeless-romantic-wannabe has his poison pills ready for such occasions!

  2. Amanda permalink
    October 27, 2008 10:20 am

    In other words, if you’re going to flirt with a lady, Be Prepared for Anything!

    heh…nice advice!

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