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Definition of Sleep

February 3, 2009

Sleep, as defined through the hours by my kitten:

11 p.m.: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (deep sigh) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Midnight: Lights out! gah! jumping jumping only jumping time for running also

1 a.m.: Phew tired from all that running and jumping…hang on…”tired” is for suckers! And ladies! Tired is for lazy ladies! There’s one now! Lady, she sure is tired-looking…time for jumping more to let her know I am too good for tired! She should try harder, too!

2 a.m.: Hey! toy mouse love mouse get it get it get on the mouse eat its face off the mouse face favourite toy…also the lady is my favourite…put mouse under her pillow for maximum “favourite” all in one place…fighting the pillow get it claws under it get get get…whooooaaaaa! lady throwing me off the bed!!!! Musta been mistake! On bed on bed on bed sliding! Will hold lady’s head for not falling a second time!

3 a.m.: I am so good at sleeping! Lookit me sleeping! Hey lady! I punch your eyes for make you lookit me sleeeeeeeping! Ok so yeah now zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

4 a.m.: So refreshed! Hey lady more punching eyes for you! 4 o’clock! Don’t miss it! Only comes twice a day! I am on your head on your head on your head mostly in your face close talking face face face these are whiskers in your face they are for helping make the sleeeeep! Lady! Ladyladyladylady! Hey!

5 a.m.: on your face on your face on your face on your face on your face having good sleep are you? That is because I am on your face with my paws and claws, pointy bits reminding you of sleep, also I eat your hair…ohhh yesssss hair! Comb it for you with my claws. You gots some bedhead, lady, I fix! You just lie still…scritch scritch scritch scritch…faster? ok! Can do! scritchscritchscritchscritchscritch! Top speed!

6 a.m.: gosh, lady, you are the laziest! Do you not love throwing the mouse? Do you not love having pets on my fur? Bites you! Bites and bites you! Don’t say you not asking for it, all this ignoring you do while lights are out! I am against lights-out! B-O-R-I-N-G!

7 a.m.: leave me ‘lone…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

7 Comments leave one →
  1. Shivs permalink
    February 3, 2009 11:19 am

    Rosie big dog sleeps all day. In my lap. My lap giraffe. She likes to sleep with her head under my wrist & her snout breathing hot air onto my hand-which-should-be-typing. Often she says to herself "The next time the lady or the man leaves out the butter, I shall eat it." And then she follows through with that plan. But mostly she sleeps in the lap of the lady, who is me. Occasionally we go for a walk around the block, and she deposits a mountain of pooh. The lady -me- has become fascinated by the frequency, the consistency and the household objects found within those pooh mountains. I love my big sleepy dog.

  2. Amanda permalink
    February 3, 2009 1:44 pm

    So far there are no household objects in the kitten-pooh, but I am also fascinated, in a way, with the sheer volume of it! Her tiny cat-bum! She is only the size of a submarine sandwich–how can she possibly make so much pooh?!

  3. looka permalink
    February 3, 2009 1:52 pm

    And how can it genarate such… stench!

    I like the cut between 3 and 4 a.m.!

    After 2 months time, we have all the stuff that used to be on the floor high up on shelfs now.

    We sleep kind of better but the little guy has come up with other things to get our ATTENTION. I’m thinking about buying 20 pairs of slippers, all in defence, naturally.

  4. Amanda permalink
    February 3, 2009 1:54 pm

    20 pairs of boomerang slippers! You throw them away and Karli brings them back to you!

  5. looka permalink
    February 5, 2009 1:32 pm


  6. Amber permalink
    February 10, 2009 11:34 am

    Sooo glad for my bedroom door. I had a short spell in a bachelor where I taught Sailor to lie down on command. He has a problem with finding the exact right spot for sleeping. Maybe it’s here, could be over there but I won’t know until I walk in circles on my mum’s soft groin area- stomp stomp stomp!

  7. Amanda permalink
    February 10, 2009 11:53 am

    Birdie is now the perfect height to prop her chin over my ear like a lid, when I am lying on my side. She has taken to heaving a great big kitten-sigh, sidling up close, then clamping her chin on the listening-spot and purring in such a loud voice it’s like listening to a kid throw a tantrum, get physically exhausted before they get their way, and starting to force out fakey cries to keep the performance going.

    This continues until I admit I am awake.

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