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Kittens are not Gamblers

February 20, 2009


Kittens do not strike deals. They are whiskery risk-takers but not gamblers. They play but also know their limit…which is limitless. They always get the best of any bargain. Look at a kitten’s face–its innocence is betrayed in its triangle-shaped grin.

Kittens do not become parties to contracts–they will try to hold a pencil, but will soon discover they are just too small for all that wood and lead, and give up halfway through signing on the dotted line. You cannot hold a kitten to a promise.

I have been attempting to bargain with Birdie, but she’s not interested. Little deals about borders and territory, some minor quid pro quo. Under the table is ok, for instance; on the table is not. No biting after midnight, but chomp on my wrist from 9 till 11:59. She’s having none of my so-called share and share alike, pooh-poohs my suggestion that her toys remain on dry land.

Instead, the cloth mouse bobs in the tub while I soak and she teeters on the ledge. Her teeth are unsheathed at 3 o’clock each morning. The stovetop is her new favourite hangout.

We had a small kitchen fire last night when I pulled a tray of sausage from the oven and she sprang to pounce the open door. Roasting pan was tossed and 400-degree door slammed shut just in time, kitten deflected by oven mitt and deftly swung elbow. A ball of flame whooshed as the greasy links hit the element, dinner tumbling onto the scorched and sooty grill.

Birdie thought that, as adventures go, that was mighty fine.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. looka permalink
    February 21, 2009 11:25 am

    Yep, Cats + Food = Disaster!

    And they never clean it up.

    Never walk in your garden barefooted when you have a lazy cat. I only say: Bare feet + dead mice = Not nice….

  2. Amanda permalink
    February 21, 2009 2:49 pm

    Bare feet + dead mice = not nice…hahahaha Simon!

  3. truebeliever permalink
    February 23, 2009 1:10 am

    if I could – I would like to leave my " two cents "

    F the deals and agreements – you do what you want Birdie, & remeber every time Miss Miller dosen't aprove of your actions – simpliy Smile & reminder her how much you love her.

  4. Amanda permalink
    February 23, 2009 10:17 am

    Mr Sallese, I would recognise that terrible spelling a mile away.

    Don’t think you can secretly egg my kitten on to bad behaviour while disguising yourself with an Internet code name…

  5. looka permalink
    February 24, 2009 7:00 am

    Yes, yes! I crack up when I think of it now and to be frank, I wasn’t really jumping in disgust back then as well. FUUNNY!

    But Birdie: Please finish your dinner….

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