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Tough Love

March 22, 2009


I am trying to complete a book chapter. It is a week late. This would be ok if the draft was excellent. Alternatively, a slightly shitty first draft handed in on time is also fine. But, my draft is overdue plus rather shitty. That’s a problem.

Meanwhile, Birdie is jogging across the keyboard, stomping on the 4 and the 7. She is knocking everything off the desk, bashing the plants around, flicking cutlery across the kitchen floor. Scattering litter far and wide. Digging her claws into the flash of skin peeking out in back between my pants and my shirt–I call this the “ass tray”, since it resembles the tiny ashtrays in the armrests on car doors. The ones that flip open with a click, shaped like the spout on a milk carton.

I just caught myself scolding my cat as she perched in my lap and clawed at my hoodie strings, “Come on, Birdie! Kittens who scratch get put down! One more chance and that’s it! I am putting you down! That’s what happens to bad kittens. Put! Down!”

Paused…

…added, in case she was confused, “Hang on, I mean put down on the floor. Not like put down meaning killed. Sorry about that.”

I am unsure whether it’s more disturbing that I accidentally declared I was going to murder her, or that I felt I ought to clarify my meaning to a small creature who isn’t listening in the first place.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. Carrie permalink
    March 22, 2009 4:25 pm

    Birdie!

    As much as you might not like to, Birdie might need some spray bottle time.*

    What’s the chapter for?

    *The above advice does not come from a cat lover.

  2. Amanda permalink
    March 22, 2009 7:41 pm

    She loooooves water. Gets in the sink any chance she can. Jumps in the bathtub with me if I don’t lock the door and paddles around like an otter. Writhes under the squirt bottle spray like a girl gone wild at a wet t-shirt contest…she is, in short, incorrigible.

  3. looka permalink
    March 23, 2009 3:36 am

    Oh they understand, they do….

    Carrie, hahaha – I thought you’d want a pet??? Not a cat in that case, ha?

    Amanda I’m afraid that even what you call “shitty” writing would be intriguing to read to me!

  4. Amanda permalink
    March 23, 2009 9:12 am

    In that case, Simon, you will be disappointed to learn that the “shitty” turned into “probably pretty ok” this morning. haha…

  5. looka permalink
    March 23, 2009 9:30 am

    Hawhahaw, good to hear! Some of my stuff composts quite well too.

  6. looka permalink
    March 25, 2009 2:45 am

    By the way: Is that badass Birdie in the picture??? …They sure grow fast. Karli is a badass of completely different sort…

  7. Amanda permalink
    March 25, 2009 7:49 am

    that is her all big and badass!

  8. Amanda permalink
    March 25, 2009 7:50 am

    “?
    (and this is her helping type comments)op09

  9. looka permalink
    March 25, 2009 12:02 pm

    Hahahaha!

    Karli types too, but only when I am on the sofa, sound asleep, and he demands to get me up to chase him around the flat so he gets his exercise!

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