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Bully

July 17, 2009


I am so mean to strawberries. Friends swap quaint little tales of picking-their-own, cuddling their harvest during the drive back to the city, lovingly drawing them from baskets and rinsing them of bugs and dirt and debris. They gush over the aroma and whip out the thesaurus for fresh adjectives to describe the vibrant pinks and reds. Oh, and the endless accounts of brewing heady jams…


Me?

I cannot transport a single pint of strawberries from market to apartment without the mushy little fuckers turning into bruised, seedy sacks by the time I walk through the front door.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. looka permalink
    July 17, 2009 7:27 pm

    Reminds me of the watermelon I got home today… see I can't even take care of on a those!

  2. Amanda permalink
    July 17, 2009 7:28 pm

    If you cannot get the toughest fruit in the whole Fruit Kingdom home safely, there is no hope hahaha

  3. looka permalink
    July 17, 2009 7:31 pm

    YES! You know me, pulp maker 4 LIFE!

  4. Amanda permalink
    July 17, 2009 7:33 pm

    Watermelons are the gorillas…strawberries are the dainty mice, haha…if you beat the gorilla-melon, you totally earn the title of Pulp-Maker Life…hahahaha…man, that made my Friday…thanks!

  5. looka permalink
    July 17, 2009 7:36 pm

    4 SURE! At your service friend!

    I do the same with sandwiches too! I had some grilled cheese guys in the oven and they came out nearly as Diamonds! I only had to peel back the coal…

  6. Amanda permalink
    July 17, 2009 7:44 pm

    the coal…to reveal the grilled cheese diamond inside!

  7. Kim permalink
    July 19, 2009 5:54 pm

    This makes me think of the Eddie Izzard bit on fruit, in which he imitates stubborn orange rinds and devious pears. It sounds like your strawberries self-inflict their wounds to garner sympathy.

    Boil them into jam, I say!

  8. Amanda permalink
    July 19, 2009 8:04 pm

    I agree–strawberries are begging for a boiling!

  9. Carrie permalink
    July 20, 2009 3:54 pm

    Having washed pint after pint of abused fruit for dinners and desserts, I truly understand. Though, my main problem is getting them home before eating them!

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