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A Fresh Start

September 16, 2009

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This week, my heart feels pinched and sore. I’m wrestling with fresh things, old things, dead things, strong things. Heavy new things. Ugly things that won’t give in, and funny things I can’t quite define. I’ll be 36 tomorrow, and am trying to let go of 35 and just keep moving.

Last week, someone suggested that the things I want most in life are eluding me because I haven’t made physical space for those things in my home or my days. My life doesn’t look like a place that could accommodate those things, in other words. So, I am trying to make room. True room, not just suggestive or implied. This is hard.

Moving this site is part of all that. The old one was stagnating and quickly becoming inadequate. The new one is tough to piece together, and for days I have been struggling to complete a short story, a suitable post for this site’s debut. But…it hurts too much…and, I am getting nowhere fast. I know speed is not necessarily the point, but in this instance, I am impatient and want to get it all out. But, I also want to make it sound just right. And so, opposing forces are duking it out.

Something more substantial will be here soon. Or, so I hope, so I would like to promise.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Julie permalink
    September 16, 2009 1:55 pm

    I wish all good things for you. And hope I can help you leave 35 behind in a joyous manner.

  2. Bronwen permalink
    September 17, 2009 10:51 am

    I’m a firm believer that everything happens in its own time. While this in itself doesn’t make anything easier, somehow it makes me feel better. I too wish you all good things on your birthday and ever after. Looking forward to catching up again in person soon.

  3. September 17, 2009 4:52 pm

    Good for you, pretty lady.

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