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A Brand New Skill

October 30, 2009


Driving! Twenty years after turning the legally permissible age to learn how, I figured the time had come. Driving…it goes something like this:

“which is the gas? which is the brake? ok so I click here to make the lights go left? up is left? ok so click it now? right instead? down then? ohhhh left is down, right is up…got it…so then I turn when? oh there? weeeeee driving oh my gosh I am totally driving and we’re not dead from it! Ohhhhhhhhhh man, what the fuck why are we on streets with other cars where did they come from those other cars? who invited them? don’t they know I have nooo idea what I’m doing? click down for left again? ok…lookit! we are totally turning left now! whoa, this is awesome, I had no idea of driving’s awesomeness! softer braking? ohhhh but driving right up to the line? where is the line? now stop? now? ok, stopping (slam)…sorry about that, I didn’t mean to slam on the brakes like that but ohhh sorry ok yeah you’re right, less laughing more focusing…whoa driving! holy shit, this is what you people in cars do every day? that is awesome, did I mention the word ‘awesome’ yet? yeah…left again here…totally doing it! weeeeeee yeah fuck yeah car!”

4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 30, 2009 6:17 pm

    Good for you, trying driving on for size.
    I just hope to figure it out before 40, but I am willing to forgo it altogether if it means living in the city for the rest of my life.

  2. November 8, 2009 6:11 am

    “less laughing more focusing…” HA! Those driving instruction people are always so over the top serious!

    I have yet to try that driving stuff out in full effect, with license and all. I mean I can drive for a bit, but the damn coppers make it hard to stay on the road.

    • welltailored permalink*
      November 8, 2009 12:45 pm

      Actually, the person teaching me to drive was my best friend whom I’ve known since we were about 16…so…he was probably making an informed judgment on my behaviour, haha…like, from 20 years of experience, he knows that when I start getting all hyper and nervous and giggly, what happens next is I get all distracted…and extrapolating from that, hyper nervous giggly in a car the first time = plowing into oncoming traffic.

      He is a brave and patient man. And, my second lesson is on Wednesday!

      : )


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