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Necktie with Pickles on It

February 5, 2010

As anyone who keeps a blog will know, Worpress (and others) comes with a nice little feature that tells you how many people have viewed your page per day, what stories they checked out, and what keywords or links they followed in order to reach your site. This can prove highly addictive, as you watch the traffic numbers climb, or babysit a favourite story to see how many other people love that story, too. It’s also a fantastic tool for procrastination, serving a similar function as obsessively checking email while you avoid working on an essay.

I’ve seen a lot of blog posts where the author muses about the search terms that people entered, and which led the seekers to the author’s site. A friend who keeps a blog about graphic novels and book reviews has been startled to see poorly spelled, vaguely dirty keywords. And, 15 Minute Lunch regularly features a column about the lewd, crass and incredibly disgusting things people were hoping to find when they clicked the link to that blog.

My own blog stats page has been, by comparison, rather chaste. Mostly people looking for car repair manuals (“Liar! You’ve Got Antifreeze!“), step-by-step bowtie instructions, parenting tips (“A Brand New Skill“), and discussions about the Bible (“Lord of the Gays“).

The “bad lines” and dating series lured in their share of pervs, which is fine by me. But yesterday, the keywords “necktie with pickles on it” came up. That is just too much. I mean really…I can only imagine the person was looking for a shopping network, and was browsing with the intent to not only locate but also purchase the item those keywords describe. Dreadful!

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