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Crazy! Glue!

May 27, 2010

It  does not matter that there is a heatwave on, and that you would like to wear short-shorts.

It does not matter that your last appointment at the downstairs beauty parlour was weeks ago and things downstairs are a little unruly and outta hand.

It does not matter than you are a lady who likes to have a place for everything and everything in its place, and nothing out of place, and nothing sprawling beyond its, ahem…designated borders.

It does not matter that this weekend may call for a bikini.

It does not matter that the salon is air conditioned, or that you are wearing loose and breezy trousers.

It does not matter  that today is the only time you have a twenty-minute slot in your schedule.

All of the above notwithstanding, what matters are the physical properties of hot wax in contact with hot city weather, a three-day scorcher, a long bicycle ride home uphill during rush hour. Remember those things instead, because these are the things that matter when asking yourself the question, “Is today a good day for a session with the bikini waxer?”

Answer this question incorrectly and you might just find yourself in the shower after that long bike ride, attempting to unstick your underpants which appear to have been fastened to your bum with Crazyglue, or an entire roll of masking tape rolled into those little sausage-shapes like for pasting construction paper craft projects to the classroom wall. Man, it always took a lot of tape to hold a picture in place!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Patrick permalink
    May 29, 2010 4:55 pm

    It’s hard being a girl, I think.

    • welltailored permalink*
      May 30, 2010 6:28 pm

      It all comes back to the Oscar Wilde line, about how if you intend to enjoy either sausages or women, you ought to observe the preparation of neither.

      • June 8, 2010 1:52 am

        Oh man, that Oscar Wild! …Knows how to phrase a thing or two. I’d add, that if you want to enjoy men and beer, you’d better not ask for them to keep their sparkle much longer then they open up.

        🙂 I’m just natching, Oscar!

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