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It’s So Hard

February 28, 2011

A colleague and I have a joke. It comes at the expense of the woman who shares my colleague’s cubicle. Or, I should say, it would be at her “expense” if she knew we joked the way we do, or if my colleague somehow conveyed to this woman his disdain for her habit of complaining about everything. I don’t know this lady outside the realm of my colleague’s tales, and for all I know she is simply a lovely lady wronged by his snide wit. But, knowing my colleague as well as I do, I feel confident stating that he is actually neither snide nor making an unfair mock.

This deskmate’s tagline is, “It’s just so hard.” What is just so hard? Like…everything. Filing. Coordinating the take-out options for the lunch and learn. Wearing shoes. Remaining hydrated. From the moment she throws her legs over the side of the bed and hoists herself into an upright position, this woman is conscripted to a day of nonstop so-hardness. And so, because this is not only so hard but also so funny, my colleague and I discreetly mimic her deep sighs and her heavy-limbed gestures. We telephone each other and groan into the receiver, IT’S SOOOOOOO HARRRRRD, and this serves as our cue to meet in the lobby to take a walk.

I spent the afternoon mentally drafting a much more involved post, which I intended to compose in full and publish this evening, but now that I am home and sprung from the confines of my secretary uniform, have a glass of red wine in me and a load of laundry in the machine, I find it is just so hard to write that much, and so I leave this with you as a teaser for more to come. Lest you worry that no such post is forthcoming, never fear. It involves a man skidding across  the men’s room threshold in a puddle of urine and my colleague and I searching for a stick in the garden outside in the office courtyard, in order to prevent him from choking on his tongue, since ohmygosh we can’t actually administer mouth-to-mouth or anything, what with the risk of that pee!

Heh. Yes. I really am signing off now, on that note. I know…waiting is so hard!

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