Over Steak Dinner and Rye
Me: Man, driving is so great. If I could do it, i would definitely do it a lot.
H: No, you wouldn’t. Driving is terrible. If you could drive, you would drive as little as possible.
Me: But the getting-around! The not lugging all this shit in bags and arriving home with tired arms and shoulders. I would drive so much. All driving, all the time.
H: I repeat. Driving is terrible, you would never drive.
H: Seriously. Terrible. Just because you can does not mean you would.
Me: Yeah, I guess that’s like saying, “If I were tall, I would wear a lot more pants because they would look great on me then.”
H: Right. “Oh, look, I’m so tall, aren’t my pants great? This is great, being tall in pants! Pants are the best, they’re so great, if you’re lucky like me to be so tall.” Totally not how it works.
Me: Yeah. Thanks for driving me home.
H: Happy New Year.